No iPad For Grandpa...

For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness. May lord give me the courage and strength to speak the truth and only the truth. What is the iPad?

I had this revelation when I decided to gift the latest toy from Apple, the iPad, to my grandpa and he was curious as to why was I getting him a Pad? I explained, “it's not 'a' pad, it's the iPad.”

He then asked what it is. That's where I became stuck. I tried to understand it myself, so that I could explain it to him. When I looked closer (into the picture specs and limitations), I found that the iPad, like most Apple devices is a crippled, over-hyped device. It could, should, and must have been better, as the prophet Steve Jobs said, "We think we've got something better: The iPad."
 
What is wrong with iPad? The first thing that comes to my mind was my grandpa's question: “What is it? A smartphone? A tablet? A netbook?  An eReader?” I found it to be the most confused and misplaced product by Apple -- just like Apple TV.

Let's discuss a couple of uncomfortable things here. My grandpa is a nationalist and a firm supporter of freedom of an individual. Of course he would question me about what we are allowed to do with the iPad.

First comes technology. Grandpa thinks that technology should enable him to do things in the simplest possible manner. For example, if you have to put a pen in a drawer, you will pick up the pen, open the drawer and drop it in.

In the virtual world we do things in a similar manner called “drag and drop.”  It is one of the most basic and common functionalities of computing devices capable of storing and processing data. Can you do  that with Apple 'devices'?  No, none of the second (grade) generation Apple devices 'allow' that. You cannot drag and drop items in iPods, iPhones and iPads.

In the world of Apple, to drop a pen in a drawer, you have to go to another room and open another drawer.  There will be a hole through which you can put only pens, and it will first check if the pen is appropriate for the drawer or not, and then only you can put it in there.

Once you put the pen it that drawer, you will never be able get that pen back. It will be converted into something else which you can't even recognize. 
 
That's exactly what happens when you place transfer data – music, movies and images on Apple devices. It encrypts them. How fair is it to encrypt 'your' files in a manner than even you can't recognize? How fair is it to deny you the right to get it back from that device?

And for what? This is 'not' for your good or benefit. You have to go through all of this trouble so that Apple can ensure that you stay locked-into their devices. You have to go through all of this so that mega music corporates ensure that you do not steal from them. The funniest thing is: do you know who pays for every piece of hardware or every line of code that goes in these gadgets to restrict or control your usage? You do. The cost of these restrictive technologies is borne by the end user.  You pay for the chains that they place on you.

Apple devices like iPod, iPhone and iPad do not let you do what even a basic computer should do. This is dangerous for a few reasons: Firstly, it changes a user's behavior into thinking that they cannot do something. Period. No argument, no further discussion. The user will accept everything that Apple tells them. Now, without any hard feelings: would you call such submissive users smart?

This is also hurting the very basic nature which makes us human: sharing. We learn how to swim, eat, read and many more advanced things in life through sharing knowledge. If you like a certain dish, you would share it with your friend, your wife, your parents. But these proprietary corporates are telling you that sharing is evil, crime and sin to such an extent that they use a derogatory word, 'pirate' for those who copy. How much sense does it make to use products by the companies who enslave us through their 'SlaveWare'?
 
If you put content on your iPod or iPhone or iPad through iTunes, you will never be able to get it back into the original form and format. All you are allowed to do by Apple is to burn a back-up which you will be able to restore only on their device. You can't play or use anywhere else.
 
My Grandpa was very upset that a company would tell him how wear a shirt, because that's how the company makes money. He doesn't want any product that won't allow him to do what he thinks he should be allowed to do. He was not willing to let go of his human-ness of sharing just for a device.

But I was willing to convince him into getting one for his gift.
 
“Is is smart phone?” He asked. Well. Not exactly. It is too big to keep in your pocket; yes, you can stick it in your pants. So it is not something you can walk with. It is fragile, and if you drop it Apple will charge you heavily for a new one. Even if someone like old grandpa who doesn't leave home, iPad is not a smart phone. Forget about being smart, it's not even a dumb phone.  It needs Wifi to get connected or the 3G model which will again be locked into AT&T to access the Internet through their dictated 'package'.

Another argument failed. He asked further, is it a Tablet? What is a tablet? A scaled down PC optimized for work on the move, with a touch screen so that you can scribble on it. In any case it is a PC. Take any of the tablets on the market -- they have powerful processors and the regular hardware stack. USB ports, camera, recorder and most importantly a biometric reader for security. What does Apple iPad have? No camera, no USB, a lot less than a normal tablet would have. Honestly, you can't use the iPad they way you can use any other tablet.

It's built in processor is good for Apple applications only, it doesn't support Flash. So forget about any flashy-rich content on the iPad. Also you can't multi-task. You will have to close one application to use other one.

OK, Grandpa, its an eReader.

“An eReader? Does it have electronic ink? No, its LED backlit. Well, you can't read much in bright daylight if you are sitting in Central Park. You need a dark cave to read a book on the iPad. “I am happy with my Linux running Kindle,” he said.

Last attack. “Is it a netbook?”

Considering all that the iPad can do, I recited the prophet's message, "The problem is Netbooks aren't better at anything."

"But, is the iPad better than a netbook? Can it do all that a netbook can do?" my athiest Garndpa asked.

Well, umm...not exactly. You can't use iPad as a full-fledged (even stripped- down) PC. It won't do what a netbook allows you to do freely. It's a...no. It's not a netbook. I found myself short for words.

“Then what the hell are you doing here? Don't waste my time. Get lost!” That's what my Grandpa said to my iPad proposal.

I could not convince my grandpa that the iPad was made for him or for any other ordinary user. My grandpa is a hard nut to crack. What do you think. Can you convince my Grandpa?